Posterior Motives

Enough…..stop it already…..quit it.

There needs to be a limit switch on butt augmentation. To say it’s gotten out of hand is a gross vile despicable understatement.

Let’s review: men are extremely visual creatures. Child bearing hips, thighs, large breasts and butt are biological signs of good fertility. This is science. <—-you just passed the link to fact check me. No make believe fantasy stuff here. So when I say that we are subconsciously hard wired to gravitate towards that booty….it is a fact.

I speak on the behalf of all heterosexual men when I say that we ALL appreciate the shapeliness of a woman’s physique.

Now let’s address the issue at hand.

The rapper Sir Mixalot decided to immortalize our thoughts, emotions and biological obsessions in music form and some of you women have been losing your minds and bodies trying to capitalize on a perceived weakness.

Breast implants are nothing new, so i’m not even wasting my breath on that subject. But booty augmentation, butt lift….whatever you wanna call it, is waaaay out of control. I get it though. Your legs connect right to your back. Congratulations! you’re a candidate for a Brazilian butt lift.

Now to you Niki Minaj, Kim Kardashian wannabe chicks:

Kill yourselves.

Where do I begin? I like whiskey, firearms and steaks…that doesn’t mean I’m opening up a liquor store, gun shop and a Ruth’s Chris restaurant now does it? How about exercising a modicum of mental aptitude in the form of moderation. (3 “M” words in 1 sentence, booyah)!

How about just exercising? Squats, deadlifts, and leg curls will plump that flat tire right on up. Oh, but you lazy huh? God forbid you have to run 2 miles for your child’s life. R.I.P. kid…

Don’t worry. We’ll still look at your circus show of an ass. It’s entertaining…no it’s hypnotic. You will command an entire room’s attention. Just don’t ask us for meaningful conversation. We are stimulated visually and physically, just like you wanted…making any possible future relationship initially about one thing only.

And don’t wait for us to wife you either. We already know you make bad choices.