All I wanted to do was to drive to Burger King, grab me some Burger Shots with cheese to soak up some of tequila from the night before. Don’t judge me, we’ve all been there.
I’m sitting at a stop light thinking,” man I need to wash the “Z” when I see him… The Jogger. If I had to gauge by his bouncy gait, I’d say he was happy. But the look on his face said otherwise. His face read, “somebody just punched me in the stomach and I have to drop a deuce”. I felt sorry for him but all I could think about was my burgers.
After the drive thru from hell (maybe franchises can have cashier training once in a freaking while!?) I saw the jogger again. I’m thinking who the hell runs like that?
Girls do, that’s who. It’s because they have to counter for the extras they have. Or so I’d like to believe, but what is this guy’s excuse? We all come in different sizes and shapes which kinda dictates how we move, I get that…but a grown ass man running like Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes in “To Wong Foo” is a bit much.
My running stride has always been forward and low for speed. It wasn’t until Michael Johnson in the Olympics ran like he was sitting in a chair did speedsters change up their styles losing all cool points at once. Now I’m back to thinking, maybe this guy has some kinda disorder, maybe a shortened leg that’s causing his irregular hop. Then I saw the reason for his flamboyancy: his pink headband.
I laughed to myself as I bit down on a mini burger and popped the clutch, just to bark the tires as the light turned green. Ok Ok, maybe I was making fun at his “preferences”….I ain’t hating…just laughing.
The Economy of Words 