Strip Club Regulars

Okay…somebody’s gotta say something to these guys. The strip club regular.

Day in, day out, he’s always there, under the guise of “it’s happy hour” let’s go get some drinks. You’re headed to your favorite pub or 2 for 1 spot, and he pulls this “hey, they have great drink specials at “bigbootysRus”.

Now, I know you’re saying, “D, there’s nothing wrong with that, drinks are drinks right?” WRONG! Like my CSI marathon watching cousin (sup Fred), I see the pattern developing.

You get that phone call around lunchtime while you’re murdering that excel spreadsheet that was due two days ago.

“Hey lets grab some lunch,”
“Aight, cool. Where?”
“At Titties depot, they have great burgers”
“dude. WTF? burgers and titties? seriously?”

I’ve figured it out. Finally. Men who can’t tear themselves away from “pole architects” have deep insecurities, and/or relationship drama that cause them to run to “thong therapy”. Some women hate listening/talking to men whose confidence levels are feeble at best. So the regulars turn to those who will listen. And dancers…much like bartenders will listen as long as you’re tipping.

That, or as Chris Rock puts it, “they love titties and tater tots.
So…If you know a regular (I know you do). Divert his attention. compliment him. Boost his confidence. Set him up on a real date with your girl’s friend or sister…something. Real world dating and/or interaction is scary for them. Gradually ease them into it.

Their eyes have to adjust, champagne room to sunlight can be painful, afterall.